Personal Revelations–Freeing Myself from Stockholm Syndrome

 

free myself

 

I spent years wrapped in guilt.

I walked away from my father because the abuse had risen to a level that was no longer safe. Shutting that door, meant shutting it forever. And I knew it would hurt.

I put his emotional needs above my own. I was worried about how my leaving had hurt him, despite the fact that I would be dead if I had stayed. I wanted him to know how sorry I was, that I left but it had hurt like hell. I didn’t want him to think that I didn’t care. Words of apology would never suffice, he’d never believe me. So I used my body, I used my body to convey what words could never say. I starved myself.

It’s taken till now to realize, I did nothing wrong. He tried to kill me and I’m the one who feels sorry about it?  That makes no sense. His emotions don’t matter. I don’t deserve to punish myself for this.

I’m allowed to let go.  I’m allowed to be happy.  I’m giving myself the freedom to feel peace. I am deserving of such.

 

 

 

 

Advertisements

2 thoughts on “Personal Revelations–Freeing Myself from Stockholm Syndrome

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s