Back to Blogging a Little Bit More

I've been really quiet in the last several weeks, not because I had nothing to say, but I needed to be in a more positive head space to write.  I've gone through a bit of a depressive spot lately, and I don't want this space to be somewhere negative.  Yet, anytime I tried to write, … Continue reading Back to Blogging a Little Bit More

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Session with T–Admitting Relapse

I learned something new yesterday.  Remember that feeling you'd get when the teacher (or worse, the principal) called your parents when you were a kid? Weird, it feels almost the exact same when my dietitian decides that a phone call to my therapist is warranted. I don't think I even made it through the frame … Continue reading Session with T–Admitting Relapse

1 Full Year Purge Free

My recovery is far from solid, but this is the closest I've ever made it towards true recovery, and so I'm going to celebrate progress.  Today marks 365 days without any purging type behaviors--no exercise, no laxative use, no vomiting. I've managed to fight against anorexia without seeing it morph back into bulimia for the time … Continue reading 1 Full Year Purge Free

My Father is a Sociopath and I still Love Him

I love someone who has no capacity to love anyone in return. My own dad can't love me, but that doesn't prevent me from loving him.  Despite the worst things he has ever done, he still holds a place in my heart.  I get asked "how" or "why" quite often. "How could you possibly still … Continue reading My Father is a Sociopath and I still Love Him

It’s the Little Things

♥Carrigan Niamh ♥ I'm sitting in the park watching my daughter run around the playground, and for the first time, I realize just how much my life has changed. I'm enjoying her--seeing her jump, skip and play.  I'm loving the breeze that's blowing, the smell of salt air, and the distant sound of waves crashing.  I'm … Continue reading It’s the Little Things

I am not my Eating Disorder

I tried to hold a conversation with my dietitian last week about exercise, and it ended in me biting back tears. If there is one phrase that I hate and I'm tired of hearing from everyone, it's this one: "Melinda, I can't tell if I'm talking to you or your eating disorder right now."  STOP. … Continue reading I am not my Eating Disorder